Everyday Bites
Letter board with quote: “The problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but that they are incomplete,” from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, with a dandelion-colored knit blanket as the background.
Editor’s note: This post will continue to evolve as I do.
Hello again to those walking this journey with me.
We’ve reached the final chapter of the Race and Ethnic Relations logbook reflections. This entry closes the journal but not the conversation. Next week, I’ll share how this all ties together from early observations to deeper understanding within the final paper.
Before that, let’s sit with this last reflection and the lessons it holds.
For those just joining, my Past, Present, and Future series revisits journal entries I wrote during a college course on race and identity. Back then, I captured real-life observations as part of an assignment. Now, years later, I’m re-reading those entries through a clearer lens by reflecting on what I saw, how I processed it, and how my understanding has evolved.
If you missed earlier reflections, you can catch up here:
· Track Awareness
This has been both humbling and necessary. A reminder that learning doesn’t end even when the class does.
To get things started, have you ever looked back at something you wrote and realized you were only just beginning to understand? If so, you’ll understand why this reflection matters.
One of the most sobering entries in the logbook centered around a tragic-police shooting I had read about at the time where there was a death of an 18-year-old. What hit me the most wasn’t the comments, it was the article itself. No matter what led to it, the loss of life is heartbreaking. At just 18 years old, it’s hard not to feel the weight of that.
Not long after the incident occurred, protesters gathered, chanting “Hands up, don’t shoot.” A phrase echoing grief and frustration, carried over from the earlier Ferguson case.
After reading the article, I found myself scrolling the comments. Curious, maybe even searching for understanding and clarity. I wanted to know how others were processing this. What I found instead were divided opinions, people shifting blame more than grieving the life lost. It left me reflecting how quickly we shift from compassion to argument in situations like this.
Looking back, my initial reaction was mostly confusion and sadness. I didn’t have the context or enough understanding to fully grasp all of the complexities behind the incident or the strong emotions it stirred. At the time, I saw the comments and felt overwhelmed by how much friction there was, as well as, how quickly the tides shifted.
I was honestly at a loss for words. Having experienced the unexpected loss of someone close, I can only begin to fathom the deep toll it takes. What surprised me the most was seeing so much focus on assigning blame rather than honoring the life that was lost. I can understand getting caught up in the heat of the moment or reacting strongly to the article, but at the end of the day, there is a family who lost one of their loved ones. And they deserve respect. To me, that should always be at the heart of any story, the realization that this person was a real human being.
Now with more life experiences under my belt, I’m able to see situations like this with greater clarity and I understand just how complex they truly are, beyond initial reactions or quick judgements. Loss of life is always tragic, no matter the circumstances, and that calls for empathy first and foremost. As more facts emerge over time, conversations, in the comment section or beyond, can foster deeper understanding among people. Still, the focus must remain on acknowledging the pain and suffering of the family, friends, and those who remain without that individual. Often it can be a confusing time, putting the pieces back together and making sense of a tragedy. That’s why it’s crucial to approach these topics with care and respect, acknowledging the sensitivity without rushing to judgement.
Looking ahead, my hope is simple but not easy. I hope we learn to lead with compassion before criticism. That we remember every life lost was just that: a life. A person. Someone who has loved ones. And while facts and accountability matter, respect for human life should never get lost in debate. I hope conversations around tragedies focus less on blame and more on how we can prevent harm moving forward. Because behind every headline is a family grieving something they’ll never get back.
With that reflection behind us, let’s move into the next journal entry. This time, the focus moves from a tragic event to something more subtle yet equally impactful, stereotypes. Back then, I came across a portrait series called Judging America by Joel Pares. While I originally found this work featured on Elite Daily, their post no longer includes the portraits. Instead, here’s a link from Campaigns of the World that discusses the series in more detail. If you’re interested, you can click here. It’s a striking reminder of the gap between perception and reality.
In the past, I remember being drawn in by the concept and amazed by his work. While I understood that stereotypes existed, seeing the images side by side really showed how inaccurate assumptions, of any kind, can be. I shared the series back then not just because it tied into the class material, but because I found it to be a powerful statement worth reflecting on.
Today, the series still resonates with me, but in a deeper way. It feels like just a reminder that stereotypes exist and more like a call to action. Having experienced judgement myself, though for different reasons, I wish we could slow down the rush to label and assume. Rather than jumping to conclusions, I hope we, as a society, learn to pause, ask questions, and approach the world with curiosity instead of criticism. To resist assuming we know someone else’s story before hearing it ourselves.
Going forward, I hope we cultivate a culture that embraces curiosity over judgement. A society that values our differences as well as taking time to listen and understand what someone else has gone through. If we can foster more empathy and open-mindedness, we’ll be able to create more spaces where people feel seen for who they truly are, beyond any stereotype or box. That’s the kind of future I want to help build.
Building on the idea of assumptions and perceptions, the next journal entry takes a more personal turn. It recalls a moment during a return visit to my high school when a teammate made an obnoxious and oblivious comment that stuck with me. This entry sheds light on how our reactions, even in everyday situations, can reveal underlying biases and feelings, sometimes in unexpected ways. Let’s dive into that entry next:
During that visit to my old high school, a group of students, mostly latino, were nearby when one of my teammates loudly said, “I feel like a minority!” Another teammate quickly hushed her with, “Don’t say that here.” As a former student, I was caught off guard by their boldness.
Back when this happened, I was both surprised at the sheer lack of awareness and the sudden tension brought about from that moment. Not only was it tone-deaf but I felt it was so insensitive to speak so openly about feeling like a minority in front of the very group being referenced. I didn’t understand why someone would say something so blunt without considering how it might come across or affect others.
Now, I recognize that moment was one of unawareness. It was someone speaking without fully grasping the weight of their words or lacking the full context. I’ve found myself in similar places, and as much as I hate to say it, I don’t think it’ll be the last time. What matters most is that life continually gives us opportunities to pause, reflect, and grow from those experiences.
I can also understand how this situation may be viewed through the lens of privilege. Maybe my teammate wasn’t aware of the deeper implications of what was said. I can’t truly say as I don’t know their background or journey, and assumptions only limit understanding. We all walk different paths and we all learn important lessons at different times. Life isn’t a competition, it’s a personal process.
When situations like this arise, I hope we can gently share out perspectives and offer kindness. Sometimes, all it takes is taking the time to start meaningful conversations that open the door to deeper empathy and connection.
Expanding from those reflections about awareness and perspective, I want to shift to something a bit different but equally as thought-provoking. The next journal entry caught my attention through a popular song “Bang Bang” by Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande, and Jessie J. What stood out to the most wasn’t the song itself, or the music and the talent of these three artists, but how these powerful women seemed to represent distinct racial identities. It sparked a new set of thoughts about representation, perception, and how race is portrayed in popular culture. While it may have simply been a coincidence, the intentions behind this creative choice remain unknown. Still, by featuring distinct identities, it could have been a way to reach a broader audience and foster greater inclusion.
Back then, when I first noticed the diversity within the group, I was intrigued. It felt like an odd but powerful form of symbolism, whether intentional or not. At the time, I admired their talent and enjoyed their song, but I didn’t really think about the bigger picture. It was simply an interesting observation for me.
Present day, I see this moment a bit differently. Representation really matters, and having those different identities together probably wasn’t just a coincidence. It makes you think about how race and identity show up in pop culture, sometimes in ways we don’t even notice at first. What felt like a random observation back then now feels like a reminder of how much influence media has in shaping how we all see each other.
As we look to the future, I hope we continue to see more authentic and diverse representation in media, where people from all backgrounds feel seen and valued. When different identities are celebrated rather than stereotyped, it opens the door for greater understanding and connection. Media and pop culture has the power to shape minds and hearts, so let’s hope it leans into that responsibility with care and inclusivity.
Following these reflections on representation and perception, the final journey entry shifts to a simple yet telling moment from a TV show, highlighting how easily stereotypes show up in everyday life. These moments don’t just shape how we view others, they also reflect the biases we might carry without realizing.
In the show Faking It, a Black teacher casually stereotypes one of the main characters, a white girl, asking if she’s “just another white girl who drinks coffee and lattes.” While it may be a small comment, it’s a clear example of how stereotypes, even casual ones, are often treated as harmless when they’re not.
In that moment, the comment caught me off guard, but not in a bad way, since it wasn’t a hurtful stereotype. There are definitely worse ones out there. For those curious though, I do drink coffee. My go-to is lattes.
What felt like a random, harmless comment at the time, now actually says a lot. Even light-hearted stereotypes can shape how we see people. Oftentimes, without even realizing it. As I reflect, it feels like a reminder of how easily those little assumptions tend to make their way into normal, everyday conversations, and how important it is to catch them.
Looking ahead, I hope we pause before taking on assumptions or leaning into stereotypes, even ones considered harmless. Small comments can still shape perceptions. Personally, I’d love to see more curiosity about people’s real stories, instead of relying on assumptions, no matter how casual they seem.
Sometimes it’s the small, everyday moments, the “everyday bites,” that reveal the deeper stories we carry about identity, bias, and belonging. These little interactions, like a casual stereotype or an offhanded comment, shape how we see ourselves and others. Reflecting on these moments from my past to my present helps me understand how far I’ve come, and what still needs to change.
If you’ve ever caught yourself in an “everyday bite” moment or witnessed one, I invite you to pause, to reflect, and to consider the impact. Join me on this Past, Present, and Future journey as we explore growth, awareness, and hope for a more understanding world, one small moment at a time.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
