Firsts
A dandelion knit colored blanket behind a letter board with a quote from John Barrow that reads, “If you never know, you’ll never know what you’re capable of.”
To the quiet listeners and brave warriors reading this, today’s reflection is about something we all face at different points in our live. I am referring to stepping out into the unknown. This post is especially meaningful because it captures a moment in time when I was learning to face my fears, take chances, and embrace who I was, flaws and all.
Editor’s note: While this post was written on February 8th, 2014, it was never officially published. I am sharing it now [on May 31st, 2025] as it was originally intended. This post continues to evolve as I do. It’s updated to reflect growth, gratitude, and perspective gained since then.
Although it’s hard to believe, this week brought many firsts for me. I made a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone and experience life more fully. It all started with an important group interview. Something I hadn’t done before. But here’s what I’m learning that the courage to try matters more than the outcome. Whether I succeeded or stumbled, my value wasn’t tied to how I performed in that room. And neither does yours. Our worth isn’t something we earn through achievements. It’s something we already carry with us. Sometimes, we just forget to see it.
That group interview pushed me in ways I didn’t expect. Even though it was held online, I still felt the weight of being watched. Seeing all the faces on the screen, hearing others speak with confidence, and waiting for my turn only amplified my nerves. I stumbled over my words, second-guessed myself, and logged off wondering if I had said anything right at all. But as I sat with those feelings, I realized something more important. The fact I showed up mattered.
For the first time, I didn’t see rejection as proof that I wasn’t enough. I saw it as a mirror reflecting my opportunities rather than my shortcomings. And maybe that’s something worth remembering. Growth isn’t supposed to feel like winning all the time. Sometimes, it looks like noticing where you hesitate, where fear still lingers, and choosing to show up anyway. That is its own kind of success.
That’s a reminder I’ve been holding close to my chest lately. Every step forward, even the uncertain ones, teaches us something. This week especially showed me that. Pushing through discomfort, facing old fears, and choosing to show up are victories too, even when they come without recognition. Sometimes, the quiet progress matters most.
After facing the challenge of the group interview, I realized how much I was capable of when I just showed up. It made me wonder what other fears I’d been holding back from confronting simply because I was too afraid to try. That curiosity pushed me toward another big step this week. Something I had avoided for as long as I could.
Public speaking has always made me nervous. Maybe because past attempts didn’t go well or maybe it’s just who I am, shy and uncomfortable in the spotlight. Either way, standing in front of the class was daunting. But I decided that this time, I wouldn’t let fear dictate what I could or couldn’t do.
So, after pushing myself to speak in front of the class, I started noticing how often fear started to hold me back in other areas too. One of those was something that might seem simple, such as taking a text on campus. Specifically, in the testing center. But for me, it was another kind of challenge. I had always struggled to finish exams on time and I felt like I was constantly trying to catch up. It made me realize that my pace and way of processing things are different. And that is perfectly okay.
It wasn’t easy at first to shift how I saw myself and my struggles. What once felt like a source of shame slowly became a place of strength. By choosing the testing lab, I honored my own needs instead of trying to fit into someone else’s mold. I stopped worrying about what others might think and started giving myself the care and support I truly deserved.
Looking back, I realize that firsts aren’t just milestones, they’re reminders that we’re capable of more than we think. They don’t always feel perfect, and they’re not meant to. But each first, whether awkward, exciting, or terrifying, teaches us something about ourselves.
If you’re standing at the edge of your own first, here’s my advice: start anyway. Give yourself permission to be a beginner. Celebrate progress over perfection. Trust that every step, no matter how small, carries you forward. And most of all, don’t rush the timeline. Your firsts don’t have to match anyone else’s. They’re yours, and that makes them enough.
You are growing, you are learning, and you are enough.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
