Flashback to the Past
Editor’s note: Originally written on June 9th, 2014 and posted to my WordPress. This piece, like me, continues to evolve. It is updated to reflect growth, gratitude, and the perspective time has offered.
Welcome fellow travelers of change,
It’s strange to think that just a year and a half ago, I was still walking the campus I once called home. And two years ago, I was beginning my first year of college as a wide-eyed, hopeful, and unsure of what would unfold next. I couldn’t have known how much I’d lost the day I transferred, nor could I have predicted all I’d gain. The way things played out wasn’t easy, if I’m honest, parts of it still sit heavy. But with distance, I see the bigger picture more clearly. Leaving as hard as it was, became a turning point.
Since then, I’ve made new memories, connected with people I never would have met otherwise, and found growth in unexpected places. And yet, when I glance back, sure, I’d handle some things differently. But since I can’t, I’ve made peace with the present and let each day matter in its own way. That mindset has carried me further than I ever expected.
That brings me here. To the flashback I didn’t see coming. Maybe it was a photo, a familiar song, or simply being in a place that once felt like mine. Whatever it was, it reminded me that growth doesn’t mean erasing the past. Sometimes it means revisiting it with gentler eyes.
This isn’t just nostalgia. It’s an invitation to honor what was, recognize what’s shifted, and decide how to move forward. So let’s look back, not to dwell, but to acknowledge how far we’ve come.
A few days ago, I visited my former college town with a close friend. We spent the day walking through familiar places, such as my old school, hangout spots, and the quiet, open beach that had once been my favorite escape. That stretch of shoreline brought a kind of calm I didn’t realize I needed. We walked for hours, snapped photos together, shared deep conversations, and simply enjoyed being present. It felt like time slowed down. Like we were briefly stepping out of the noise and into something still and grounding.
Back home, we don't have access to a lake like that. It's not that close and it can be hard to find parking. Being back with my friend, reminded me what it's like to just be. To enjoy without rushing, to breathe in the fresh lake air. But as peaceful as it was, it also stirred something deeper. Some memories were sweet, others a bit bitter. I loved the atmosphere of the school, the friendships I formed, and the moments that shaped me, but like many things in life, it didn’t unfold in the way I expected. Looking back, I think I was more disappointed in myself than anything. I didn’t yet understand what I really wanted, and that left me feeling confused and unsure about my next steps.
At the time, I didn’t quite know how to say it, but I sensed that the school just wasn’t the right fit for me. I was craving something different. Somewhere I could blend in a bit more, where I didn’t feel so seen all the time. Some people thrive in small, tight-knit communities where everyone knows your name, and that’s beautiful. But I’ve come to realize that I’m someone who finds comfort in the movement. In the energy of larger spaces, the chance to cross paths with new faces, and the freedom not to run into the same people every day. It wasn’t about control. It was about curiosity and wanting a place that challenged me, exposed me to more, and gave me space to grow in ways I hadn’t before.
One of the hardest choices I made was deciding to leave my first college behind and return home to community college. A decision that was rooted in the need to find myself again. I needed to clarity on what I truly wanted in a school, what I needed to thrive, and who I was becoming in the process. This time around, I feel more grounded. I know what to expect. I’ve lived the messy middle of transition, and it’s given me a stronger foundation to build on.
When I think about what’s next, my dream school was UT-Austin. It felt like the perfect fit. It was big, vibrant, closer to family, and in the state, I hoped to call home one day. At the time, it checked all the boxes. But a couple years later, when I finally had the chance to visit, I realized something surprising: it wasn’t for me after all. The campus felt overwhelming, the size too big. What I thought I wanted didn’t align with what I actually needed.
Over time, I’ve learned that growth doesn’t always come from staying put, it often comes from trusting the pull to go. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it leaves you with more questions than answers. Looking back, I see how every shift, every choice, even the missteps, led me closer to the version of myself I was becoming.
So, wherever you are on your journey, don’t be afraid to pause, pivot, or begin again. Sometimes the most life-changing chapters begin with letting go of the ones we outgrew.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
