A photo of a previous birthday celebration
Editor’s note: This post will continue to evolve as I do.
Welcome, gentle encouragers, passionate believers, and the ones who lift others up simply because it’s who they are. It’s that time of the year again.
As the air shifts and the trees start their slow transformation, I’m reminded it’s also my birthday season. After another year around the sun, yes, as cliché as it may sound, it holds some truth.
Each year teaches me something. And this year is no different. This one? It taught me the importance of balance in relationships, such as knowing when to give, when to hold, and when to let go. And while the lessons aren’t always comfortable, they’ve shaped how I show up now.
Looking back, some past birthdays were full of joy but also a bit of pressure. Times where I poured so much energy into making things feel just right that I didn’t leave too much room to simply be present.
I remember one year in particular when life felt especially chaotic. I planned a dinner with friends, wanting to include everyone, even their partners, and chose a place I thought would be comfortable for everyone. But in trying so hard to make everyone else feel at ease, I didn’t check in with how I was doing. Bringing different friends together for the first time added some unspoken pressure, and I spent more time managing the atmosphere than enjoying the moment.
A little known fact about me is that I am self-critical. In the past, I used to bend over backwards, quietly self-sacrificing, to make sure others were taken care of. I thought that’s what made me a good friend. I cared more for others than I did myself. But reflecting back, I overextended myself far too often. At the time, I was willing to overlook disruptions or patterns that didn’t feel right even if it meant keeping the peace.
The truth is, that kind of peacekeeping doesn’t serve anyone in the long run. What I’ve come to realize is that it’s not the absence of conflict that defines a healthy relationship, it’s the presence of safety. Safety to be fully yourself. Safety to name what’s working and what’s not. Without that, without honest communication, even the most well-meaning connection can quietly wear thin.
Most of my life, I kept things to myself, not out of secrecy, but because I figured if someone wanted to know, they’d ask. That’s how I approached others with genuine care and curiosity. But I’ve come to realize that sharing isn’t just about answering questions, it’s how we bond. And in trying to protect others from my own weight or pressure, I sometimes unintentionally distanced myself even more, instead of opening up and simply saying, this is a lot to carry.
Then, when others share something personal or go through a difficult time, I often stay quiet, not because I don’t care, but because I don’t always feel I have the right to speak on something I haven’t personally experienced. Or I worry about saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse. So, silence feels like the safest, most respectful option.
These values were instilled in me early on: to treat others with respect, to be caring, considerate, and to love people for who they are. And I still hold them close today. But with time, I’ve come to see how some of those instincts weren’t always helpful. What I meant as care may have looked like distance. What began as kindness sometimes turned into minimizing who I was: my voice, my needs, and my presence. But by learning to recognize that, I have been able to move forward and grow.
That mindset began to shift after I came across something, maybe an article or a video, that reframed it in a way that stayed with me. It spoke about how every person has the right to set their own boundaries. And while I knew that, at least logically, I hadn’t fully connected how it applied to me as I interacted with others. It helped me realize that my tendency to go silent in order to be respectful, sometimes came from a place of unfamiliarity. I wasn’t always sure how to respond to what I hadn’t personally experienced, and rather than risk saying the wrong thing, I chose to stay quiet.
That shift opened up something deeper: a different way of showing up, not just for others, but for myself.
In the last couple years, I’ve learned how powerful it is to be your full, honest self, even if it doesn’t make you more popular or easier to understand. I’ve found I’m most at peace when I’m creating, exploring, or doing something that feels meaningful to me or the people I care about. That’s the version of life I want to keep leaning into. One that is rooted in presence, honesty, and connection to what truly matters.
What feels different this time around the sun is… me. My choices. How I’ve decided to move through life, rather than letting it absorb me. That shift alone makes this birthday feel less like a checkpoint and more like a celebration of alignment.
As a small way to celebrate and share something that I love, I’m doing a Halloween painting giveaway! It starts today, October 18th and runs through the week, closes on Saturday, October 25th. For more details on how to enter, read below.
Instagram users:
Follow inspire.those.who.inspire.you &itwiy.arton and comment “HBD” under the post titled “Let the Fun Begin.”
Facebook Followers:
Follow my page, Inspire Those Who Inspire You, on Facebook and comment “HBD” under the same post.
By commenting, you’ll be entered into a raffle. I’ll pull the name out of a bowl, and the winner will be announced on Sunday, October 26th, so keep your eyes peeled!
Please note, this giveaway is currently open to those who reside in the U.S. only.
GIVEAWAY NOW CLOSED.
Halloween giveaway painting
So, here’s to another year of becoming. Of choosing presence over perfection, alignment over approval, and joy in the small, meaningful things. I’m grateful for the changes, the lessons, and the people who made this life richer.
If you’re in a season of change, or rethinking how you show up in your own life, know you’re not alone. Start where you are. Pay attention to what feels right for you, and trust that it’s okay if that looks different than it used to.
What’s something you’ve learned about yourself lately? Drop it in the comments, I’d love to hear what you’re moving through too.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
