The Cost of Staying Silent
Letter board displaying the quote “We learn by doing” by Aristotle, set against a soft dandelion, colored knit blanket background.
Editor’s note: Originally written on March 30th, 2014, this post has been revisited and updated to reflect the growth, the memories, and the lessons that emerged from that experience.
To those who’ve ever held words back or carried unspoken feelings, this one’s for you. This story comes from a spring break trip I once took. One I expected to be fun and full of simple adventures, but ended up being a trip full of unexpected adventures. From the road trip itself to the places we explored, there was a quiet excitement in doing something different, something that pulled me out of routine and back into the moment. Along the way, small moments unfolded that I hadn’t anticipated, each one inviting me to slow down, take notice, and appreciate the journey beyond the destination.
Before we left, I crafted a playlist. A soundtrack for our trip that blended all of our favorite songs. It wasn’t just music, it became the pulse of our journey, carrying us through quiet stretches and restless nights. Every song seemed to hold a memory or a mood that connected us deeper than words. As the miles passed and the night grew heavy, the music wrapped around us, until suddenly, flashing lights appeared behind us, bright and urgent, casting shadows we couldn’t quite understand.
Through the night, tensions lingered as the stress of the trip started to take its toll. As we continued on, the darkness enveloped the road, thick and endless, broken up only by the occasional flicker of shadows moving in the night or the bright, blinding lights of towns we’d pass. When the sun started to rise, a new day was upon us. And together we made the decision to take a quick detour.
The detour? A scenic view. We decided to stop and take a break to walk around the Arkansas Hot Springs. While it may have just been a quick pit stop, it gave us the opportunity to stretch our legs, to take in the fresh air, and to admire the beauty all around us.
After sharing in on a core memory that none of us expected, we returned to the road, the long stretch toward Texas still waiting ahead. Joy seemed to gather in our hearts, as a kind of quiet excitement filled the car the further we pushed down the highway. The road stretched ahead, long and open, but the weight of the night felt lighter now. Laughter mixed with music, and even in the silences, there was comfort. We were chasing more than just a destination, we were moving toward something that felt familiar yet full of stability.
And before we knew it, we were at my grand-parents house. The plants outside were beautiful, the surroundings familiar, with the warm glow of their porchlight. It was just as I remembered it. Stepping out of the car, the comfort of the warm Texas heat, filled with anticipation of what the trip would bring.
While we had plenty of adventures during that visit, stories I’ll save for another day. What stayed with me the most wasn’t the places we explored, but what I learned about myself.
During that trip, a situation arose that challenged me emotionally in ways I didn’t expect. Looking back, I can see how unspoken expectations, especially ones shaped by how I was raised played into how I handled things. I realized how much culture, manners, and personal values shape the way we show up in shared spaces, and how easy it is to assume others see those unspoken rules in the same way.
The truth is, I didn’t know how to express myself back then. I kept my frustrations quiet until they boiled over, and by the time I spoke up, it wasn’t with clarity, it was with hurt. I handled it in ways I wouldn’t now. If I could go back, I would have communicated my feelings early, with kindness. I would have set clear boundaries without assuming they were obvious. That trip taught me that conflict rarely comes from just one moment, it builds in silence. And avoiding conversations doesn’t protect relationships, it strains them.
Though the friendship didn’t last, I carry the lesson of “say what you need to say, before resentment says it for you.”
Among the many lessons that trip offered, it’s that boundaries arrent selfish, they’re necessary. That expressing your needs early prevents pain later. And that sometimes, what feels like the end of a relationships is actually the start of understanding yourself more deeply.
So whether you’re navigating friendships, family, or something in between, remember: speak honestly, listen kindly, and give yourself permission to grow from the moments you wish you had gone differently.
If this reflection stirred memories of your own, take a moment to sit with them. Consider where unspoken expectations may have shaped your past, and where clearer communication might open new doors moving forward. Whether you reflect privately or journal your thoughts, let this me a reminder: growth often comes from the conversations we once avoided.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
