The Cost of Staying Silent
Letter board displaying the quote “We learn by doing” by Aristotle, set against a soft dandelion, colored knit blanket background.
Editor’s note: Originally written on March 30th, 2014, this post has been revisited and updated to reflect the growth, the memories, and the lessons that emerged from that experience. It will continue to evolve as I do.
To those who’ve ever held words back or carried unspoken feelings, this one’s for you. This story comes from a spring break trip I once took. One I expected to be fun and full of simple adventures, but ended up being a trip full of unexpected surprises. From the road trip itself to the places we explored, there was a quiet excitement in doing something different, something that pulled me out of routine and back into the moment. Along the way, small moments unfolded that I hadn’t anticipated, each one inviting me to slow down, take notice, and appreciate the journey beyond the destination.
Before we left, I crafted a playlist. A soundtrack for our trip that blended all of our favorite songs. It wasn’t just music, it became the pulse of our journey, carrying us through quiet stretches and restless nights. Every song seemed to hold a memory or a mood that connected us deeper than words. As the miles passed and the night grew heavy, the music wrapped around us, until suddenly, flashing lights appeared behind us, bright and urgent, casting shadows we couldn’t quite understand.
Through the night, tensions lingered as the stress of the trip started to take its toll. As we continued on, the darkness enveloped the road, thick and endless, broken up only by the occasional flicker of shadows moving in the night or the bright, blinding lights of towns we’d pass. When the sun started to rise, a new day was upon us. And together we made the decision to take a quick detour.
The detour? A scenic view. We decided to stop and take a break to walk around the Hot Springs. While it may have just been a quick pit stop, it gave us the opportunity to stretch our legs, to take in the fresh air, and to admire the beauty all around us.
After sharing in on a core memory that none of us expected, we returned to the road, the long stretch toward Texas still waiting ahead. Joy seemed to gather in our hearts, as a kind of quiet anticipation filled the car the further we pushed down the highway. The road stretched ahead, long and open, but the weight of the night felt lighter now. Laughter mixed with music, and even in the silences, there was comfort. We were chasing more than just a destination, we were moving toward a period of adventure.
And before we knew it, we were at my families house. The plants outside were just as beautiful from the last time I had visited, the surroundings familiar, with the warm glow of their porch light. It was just as I remembered it. Up stepping out of the car, we were met with the comfort of the warm Texas heat, filled with excitement of what the trip would bring.
While we had plenty of adventures during that visit, what stayed with me the most wasn’t the places we explored, but what I learned about myself.
During that trip, a disagreement arose that may have challenged all of us, but specifically, me. Looking back, I can see how unspoken expectations as well as each of our own cultures may have played a vital role.
Back then, in that moment, the situation that first occurred hit a little too close to home. And it both cut me to my core and left me shocked. In turn, I reacted more harshly than if I was able to re-do the situation now. While I’m not going to go into details, out of respect and privacy for all involved, that trip taught me a lot about myself. For instance, I learned how strong I could be, how loyal I am, and how much can culture play a role in who we are.
The reason I wanted to share this trip wasn’t to place blame. Rather, it’s to show that life isn’t always perfect. Not everything works out like we hoped. There are things we wish we could change and there’s things we learn to let go with time. And this is one of them.
While the situation may have felt personal, and even hurtful, in the moment, I don’t feel like it was deliberate in any way. It was just one of those unintentional, spur of the moment, stressful vacation-esque situations where they may have taken advantage and I overreacted. And even though I wish I would’ve reacted in a different way now, there’s no way for me to travel back in time. No matter how much I wish there was. We can only continue to learn and grow from our mistakes.
In this specific situation, I needed space after the whole ordeal. While I didn’t cut them out of my life entirely, I did remove them from my socials as I no longer felt comfortable. I felt like I had been used and taken advantage of and so, I was hurt and upset. However, I still kept their number, unblocked, in the event they may have wanted to reach out.
To this day and even after, this disagreement didn’t make me think any less of them or who they were as people. I still feel fortunate to have meet them, worked along side them, and I’ll continue to wish them the best of luck.
So whether you’re navigating friendships, family, or something in between, remember: every relationship is different in its own way. From culture to misunderstandings and lapses in judgement to assumptions, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have previous experiences. And we all have to do what’s best for us, even when others may not understand.
As you leave here today, my words of advice, is to have an honest conversation. Care for the people who matter in your life. Communicate. Be vulnerable. Share with them your experience but also allow them to do the same. Because I truly believe it can help us all. If nothing else, we gain a new perspective or a lesson of how to improve in the future.
If this reflection stirred memories of your own, take a moment to sit with them. Consider where unspoken expectations, unclear communication, or culture made all the difference. Whether you choose to reflect privately, journal your thoughts, share them with loved ones, or communicate them online, let this be a reminder: growth happens from our mistakes.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
