Editor’s note: Written from my current vantage point.
Hello, welcome back to the final chapter of the Creative Control series, where we’ve been exploring what it means to reclaim authorship over our lives by learning when to hold on, when to let go, and how to create from truth instead of fear. With only the bonus post of “Nearly Left Unsaid” to go, this series is coming to a close. But before it does, I’ll be sharing today how I’ve been learning to reconnect with my voice, and what it’s taken to move away from external expectations and back toward creating in a way that feels authentic.
Before I get into that, here is a little bit about me:
Creativity has always been part of who I am. It’s something I’ve carried with me over the years, even during times when I felt more disconnected from it.
My grandpa has been one of my biggest inspirations as he became a painter after retiring and was always someone who encouraged me to be creative in my own way.
Growing up, I was always making something from cards, little gifts, letters, or artwork for friends and family.
I have explored various mediums including: drawing, painting, oil pastels, colored pencils, markers, paper mâché, and clay. I even got into things like scrapbooking and creating a test run game board.
Even with all of that, something began to change over time. I started to notice a shift in how I approached creativity. What once felt natural began to feel more thought out, and there was this hesitation that started to show up. Instead of focusing on what I actually wanted to create, I found myself wondering, “if I made this or tried that, how would it be received?”
For a while, I didn’t fully notice what was happening. I didn’t realize how much my creativity, and the passion behind it, had started to fade. But then moments would come up, such as a holiday or a birthday celebration, where I’d have this renewed inspiration to create something for others. And that’s when I started to notice a shift. Either I’d keep pushing it off and wouldn’t follow through on my idea or I’d forget about it entirely.
Eventually, I realized there was this underlying heaviness of whether what I created or shared would be accepted. And that’s when I started to question where I lost that sense of love for expressing myself.
Looking back now, I can see that it didn’t happen all at once.
I’ve been creating in one way or another for most of my life. But before I knew it, I found myself back at the beginning, feeling unsure and not quite knowing how to start again.
I came to the realization that my passion wasn’t lost overnight. It was slowly chipped away, little by little, in ways I didn’t fully notice at the time. What started as small comments like being told I was “too sensitive” or how “our family isn’t really known for being creative” moments began to add up.
Before long, I found myself leaning more into external expectations. I started valuing other people’s opinions over my own, trying to shape what I created into something that felt more acceptable or “good.”
Somewhere along the way, without realizing it, I started to lose my voice, in the artistic sense by not staying true to me.
And that started to show up in what I was creating.
When I finally felt ready to take that first step again, I didn’t fully return to what felt natural to me. Instead, I found myself creating what I thought people wanted to see, or what seemed popular at the time. It felt less about enjoyment and more about validation.
Some of the first pieces I made were landscapes or memories of places I had been. I saw so many other artists creating that kind of work, and I started to think “maybe this is what I should be doing too.”
At that point in my life, other artists work was my practice ground. I learned how to make bits and pieces from stairways to roads appear more realistic. Once I learned how to draw those things on my own with my own style, it really helped me draw in the creativity I had been missing. Yet at the same time, I was still shaping my work around what already existed instead of fully exploring what felt like my own voice.
But over time, something began to shift.
The more I created, the more I started to reconnect with what I actually enjoyed. It reminded me that I’ve always been creative. That this wasn’t something new I was trying to learn, but something that had always been a part of me.
It became less about following what others were doing and more about listening to what felt right for me. In essence, it was about reconnecting with that passion and learning to quiet outside opinions, and instead following what felt natural. Real. Personal. To me.
Since then, I’ve noticed a change. I no longer feel as limited in my ideas. Instead of feeling confined, I’ve started exploring different styles, mediums, and ways of creating by focusing more on what fills me with inspiration, rather than what might be well received.
Reclaiming my voice hasn’t been about finding something new. It’s about returning to what already feels like me.
For me, that has looked like going back to simple forms of creating, such as line drawing, where I let my hand move freely without overthinking. It feels more like a release, a way of letting go of control. I’ve also started following my curiosity more, trying new styles and ideas I might’ve avoided before. And last but not least, I’ve learned to let go of the idea that every piece needs to be perfect or finished before sharing. By recognizing these things, creating has started to feel like mine again.
The more I have leaned into that, the clearer my journey has become.
At the same time, my voice didn't come back all at once, it became clearer the less I tried to force it and the more I started to appreciate it.
Even now, doubt still shows up from time to time. But the difference is, I no longer feel like I need others to recognize or validate what I create. My art is about me and my journey.
I’ve learned to accept imperfect or unfinished pieces. When a piece feels complete to me, it’s done. It’s not when it meets someone else’s expectations.
Throughout this journey, I’ve re-learned how to trust myself from my vision, my ideas, and my abilities Even when the final piece doesn’t look exactly how I imagined, it still holds value.
Reclaiming my voice hasn’t been about perfection. It’s been about learning to believe in myself all over again.
If you’ve ever felt disconnected from your voice, consider this your reminder that it’s still there. Sometimes it just takes giving yourself the space to listen again.
Join me for one final bonus post on Tuesday, March 31st, 2026, within the Creative Control series, where I’ll share a piece I almost didn’t share, and what that moment taught me about trust, creativity, and letting go of hesitation.
As a signature of my blog, I’d like to end this post with a suggestion to “Pass on kindness.” There’s no time like the present to Inspire Those Who Inspire You. Acts of kindness, no matter how big or small, can have a direct, positive impact on someone else. Go out there today and change someone’s life for the better!
***These are my personal opinions and may not be those of my employer.***
